That Must Be One F**king Long Bridge!!!

An Interstate in Hawaii... Really? The last time we checked Hawaii was surrounded by water... but maybe we weren't paying attention.

Side Note: "An Interstate is a highway serving two or more states"... and now you know!

Lesson Learned: We just told you... An Interstate is a highway serving two or more states!!!

Redneck Lawn Art

Say goodbye to the lawn art of yesterday. No more gnomes or flamingos! The head of the Redneck Association of Personal Ethics, or R.A.P.E., revealed what's new for '08... It's the "Car Fire Catastrophe."

Side Note: We don't really like it... but art isn't really our thing.

Lesson Learned: If your car ever explodes... just give it to a redneck--they love that sh!t.

Yikes!!!

After a long night of drinking... you know it's going to be a rough morning when you wake up and find that a dirty little Smurf sh!t on your head.

Side Note: No, your hair doesn't distract our attention away from your hideous tattoo... but good try.

Lesson Learned: Smurf sh!t stains.

Here Comes Santa Claus

He's making a list and checking it twice... carrying a beer and maybe some lice... Santa Claus is slummin' around!

Side Note: Even Mr. Kringle is feeling the pinch during these hard economic times.  Looks like he had to get a part-time job with the postal service.

Lesson Learned: See... we knew he was real!  Just like the Elusive Titman!!!

Compensating For Something?

Can anyone tell me how this is a good idea? You can't even get into this tank without a ladder! 

Note To Driver: "People aren't staring at you cuz you're cool... they're staring at you because they think you are a moron for spending $200 a week to fill up."

Lesson Learned: You have to be a dumb ass to drive a Tonka Truck like this when gas is almost $5 a gallon!

Business In The Front, Party In The Back

These pictures are three prime examples of why the mullet went out of style... and should stay out. Or maybe it's not a mullet at all and simply just a bad haircut by her 2 year-old.

Side Note: FYI, from the back it looks like an octopus is eating her skull!

Lesson Learned: That's one woman you don't want to give a pearl necklace to!

Comforting Sign...

WTF?! How is this sh!t supposed to make anyone feel safe?!? Thanks CA for knowing we're sitting on a CANCER nest and only posting a sign.

Side Note: This sign is posted outside our office... look around, your office probably has one too.

Lesson Learned: Work will be the death of us all!

ET Phone Nursing Home

Grams must have fallen out of the basket on the way home, but lucky for Elliott, we found her.

Lesson Learned: That little bastard needs to take better care of ET... it looks like she's been lost for 50 years, now she's pissed!

World's Laziest Statue

As a parent you can't be too disappointed that your son is a statue-man... cause that ish ain't easy. But come on, stand up you lazy mother f**ker!

Side Note: What a waste of a buck... we knew he wasn't going to do anything, but at least we thought he wouldn't do anything standing up!

Lesson Learned: Children, this is why college is so important

FAAAABulous!

The new "Tough Stuff" clothing line is now available for skaters, which includes: side knotted T-shirts & cut off jean shorts!  Pick yours up today!

Side Note: Last time we saw someone hanging this tough was in a New Kids On the Block music video!

Lesson Learned: When trying to be a skateboarding-hard ass... capris are a bad choice!

The Elusive Titman!

HOLY CRAP!!! We've seen cross dressers, we've seen man/woman/things... but we have never seen this before!

A man with TITS!!!!

Side Note: We know the shot is not the best... but this is far from over! We will get another shot of THE ELUSIVE TITMAN!

Lesson Learned: He escaped our camera this time, but he can only hide for so long!

French Ninja

The French Ninja is looking for her prey... the French Ninja is on her way... French Ninja yay!

Side Note: After the kill, the French Ninja took a nap.

Lesson Learned: The French Ninja theme song sucks!

We Detect Fowl Play

We discovered the mystery behind the "Mystery Meat" we had back in school... then promptly dry heaved.

Lesson Learned: Randall is one sick bastard!

This Sexy Mama Needs A Ride!

If you look beyond the ugly pink dress, the wild hair, fugly shoes and open legs, there is a beautiful bus stop back there wanting to shine.

Side Note: We would like to immediately apologize to your retinas... at least you didn't have to edit the photo!

Lesson Learned: One look in the mirror before you leave can make a world of difference

Small Wallet, Smaller Dick

We never thought there would be a bigger waste of gas than the Hummer 2... we were wrong --

here it is!

Side Note: We talked to the tiny man about the gas mileage and he said this, "1 highway, 0 city."

Lesson Learned: If you have a small dick, get a big truck... it'll take the attention away from the tiny pecker

Berieve Us... We U.S. Company... Rearry!

Does this look suspicious to anyone else?... A "U.S." company with a logo like that?

Side Note: Asian American since 1950.

Lesson Learned: Sensei always said, "If you can't beat em', join em'."

LA Hits A Record Low!

A frigid 97 degrees rolled through the Southland this passed weekend, and only one woman was prepared!

Side Note: The desert eskimo and her 2nd jacket were ready for weather that could drop below 95 degrees.

Lesson Learned: The winter D-Bag Olympics can now be held in June!

Man Starves To Death From Lack Of Attention

Trained character actor for hire, Dennis Woodruff, was out in his sweet ride. You may know Dennis from his roll in Spaceman, where a traveler from 27 "galaxys" away visits Earth... Based on a true story!

Side Note: The only thing missing from this car are some bad ass plastic spinners!

Lesson Learned: If you want entertainment... come to our site, but If you want crazy... go to denniswoodruffshow.com