Barbie's Broken...

They don't make Malibu Barbie like they use to...

Side Note: It's hard to jump start a plastic jeep without an engine.

Lesson Learned:  I guess that Bitch doesn't have everything...

One Very Disappointed Jewish Mother...

We are all for celebrating holidays... but the jews always seemed to have so much more class then this.

Side Note: This dude has a lot of khutspe driving around LA like this.

Lesson Learned:  This guy can drive for 8 days before his oil runs out.  Now thats some good mpg!

Stop Light... meet the morons!

Have you even been so mad at a light that you wanted to drive right into it... no... Okay, have you even been so stupid that you drove into a stop light in the middle of the day?  well these two Douches did...

Side Note: Not only did they hit a stop light, but they're parked in a red zone...

Lesson Learned: If you hit city property and drive off make sure you don't have your company's shirt with a phone number on the back... a couple disappointed people might call... So Good!

Quite The Imagination You've Got There!

And we thought believing in unicorns was stupid... but to paint one on your car!

Side Note: ...Is that a gun?!  wow... what a psycho!

Lesson Learned: This Bitch Is Crazy!

Dis Guy Got Da Boot...

F is for F**king failure!

Side Note: We didn't think they still did that to cars... good to know!  Mental note... pay your tickets and move your car!

Lesson Learned:  Well... You can't win'em all!

Let's Play Find The Wheelchair...

This ghetto ass A-Team van on stilts shows us why handicapped people don't need their own parking spaces... if they can get out of that beast, than they can walk just as far as we do!  Or maybe this douche isn't handicapped at all... maybe he's just a dick!

Side Note: This damn thing is taller then the sign it's illegally parked in front of!  And what's with the hunting lights... you drive in the city!  Unless, they hunt people.  The A-Team has gone terribly wrong!

Lesson Learned: Leave the monster trucks to crushing cars and not for taking up handicap spots!

Mama Always Said: "WTF Are You Doing?"

BMW's newest attempt at going green has gone way too far this time. With the purchase of every new beamer, you get a free Mexican that hangs out your window and purifies the air with the new "Palm Tree Air-freshener".

Side Note: We are betting that this is illegal... no, not the leaning out the window part... but the Mexican here in America part.

Lesson Learned: If you can afford a BMW, have them deliver the damn tree... if not, buying a truck with a mural on it will do just fine!

Truck and Ladder

Is it just us, or does this just defeat the purpose of having a truck?  It would be better if you put the ladder in the bed.  But hey... What ever you want short bus... what ever you want.

Lesson Learned: When you buy a truck... put your cargo in the bed like a normal person.

Douche For Sale!

Ever wanted to be a douche bag... well here's your chance!  Come on down to D-Bag Chevrolet and make your dreams come true!

Side Note: This douche-mobile comes with air bags and an air head to ride shotgun.  

Lesson Learned: A car dealership can be a douche bag too.

Portal To Africa!

Lets play a little word association... What do you think of when you hear, Africa?  Well if you said giraffes, lions or the world's second-largest and second most-populated continent then you're wrong! 

Side Note: Nothing says Africa like the dark, gloomy, American State of Washington!

Lesson Learned: Besides giraffes belong in the front yards of homes!  At least that's what the Redneck Association of Personal Ethics (R.A.P.E.) says.

This Is One Perverted Company!

What happens to your "Big Horn" if you "Ram" it "Heavy Duty" style?  Only drivers of gas-guzzling Dodge trucks have the answer... and they display that badge proudly.

Side Note: A conversation heard by two men... 

Guy A: "So what you got under the hood?"

Guy B: "A turbo diesel"

Guy A: "Cummins right?"

Guy B: "Every time I drive it!"

Lesson Learned: The only company more horny than Dodge is Disney.  Cummins... Really!?  Sick Bastards!

The Truth Revealed...

Yep...

Super Student My Ass

Apparently this "Super Student" has never heard of the word redundant.

Side Note: Redundant is today's word of the day.

Lesson Learned: The Word of The Day is Redundant.  Meaning: An unnecessary repetition in expressing ideas... just like with a stupid bumper sticker!  Did we mention, redundant is the word of the day?

SUV Drags His Sack...

We're not sure which is worse: "Junk in the trunk" or "Sack out the back?"

Side Note: It never tore open... that's all you can really hope for!

Lesson Learned: It's not littering if you don't let it go...

RED!!!

Does anyone else think this is a little much?

Side Note: The next step is to get red tires... and don't think they wont... they went this far!

Lesson Learned: Just because it's the same color doesn't mean it works together.

Gangsta Rida

The Low... Ride...er... is a little higher...

Side Note:  I guess you have to be a little high to drive this thing... cause the hydraulics are on when it's driving down the damn freeway!

Lesson Learned: Statistics say the safest place to be in a drive-by is the target... That's because you can't aim with all the damn bouncing!  Turn off the hydraulics and maybe you could hit something!

What Good Is This?

We've been thinking about this for a while... why the hell would you ever want these on a truck!?

Side Note: You already have break lights & blinkers...  and the propeller doesn't really help either.  God help him if he's doing this for looks.

Lesson Learned: Cars and boats are an ugly mix... so are construction signs and bumpers!

Flaming Douches

These dueling douche bags were out driving their flaming cars! We can't decide which one we hate more.

Side Note: Lame decals don't raise the car's resale value.

Lesson Learned: The only cars that should have flames are ones that are actually on fire... and if that happens, send us a pic!

Kiss Your Money Goodbye!

Well we have to be honest... we've never seen an auto company be so truthful. Make-A-Wish Maintenance is perfect.

Side Note: The wish is only an option... you're going to have to pay extra for that.

Lesson Learned: All auto places love to F**K you over... at least this one gives you a magical, fighting chance.

Compensating For Something?

Can anyone tell me how this is a good idea? You can't even get into this tank without a ladder! 

Note To Driver: "People aren't staring at you cuz you're cool... they're staring at you because they think you are a moron for spending $200 a week to fill up."

Lesson Learned: You have to be a dumb ass to drive a Tonka Truck like this when gas is almost $5 a gallon!