Saturday, July 5, 2008

Flaming Douches

These dueling douche bags were out driving their flaming cars! We can't decide which one we hate more.

Side Note: Lame decals don't raise the car's resale value.

Lesson Learned: The only cars that should have flames are ones that are actually on fire... and if that happens, send us a pic!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Are You American Enough?

We called... but only an answering machine picked up... saying, "Thank you for calling the accent program..." Apparently you can't learn "American" until later in the day.

Side Note: The woman on the machine sounded very American!

Lesson learned: If it walks like a duck... talks like a duck... but sounds American... it must have called the accent program!

You're Not In England Any More

Excuse me sir... we think we know why you got in an accident. Cause you're driving on the wrong side of the road!

Side Note: That's about a $35,000 mistake.

Lesson Learned: Welcome to America... where we drive on the right side of the road.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Broken Shaft!

Ouch! Oh... that kind of shaft. For a second we thought... well, never mind.

Side Note: This happened on a freeway off ramp... at least he was kind enough to get off the freeway first!

Lesson Learned: Be gentle with your shaft... that's one thing you don't want to break!

Sweet Midriff

Have you ever thrown on something and then realized... "this ish is ugly and I look like a total dumb ass"?  Well that's what this guy did... then he left the house.

Side Note: These must be the same clothes he wore in 6th grade.

Lesson Learned: Mommy always says, "Wear dirty clothes if this is the alternative!"

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Kiss Your Money Goodbye!

Well we have to be honest... we've never seen an auto company be so truthful. Make-A-Wish Maintenance is perfect.

Side Note: The wish is only an option... you're going to have to pay extra for that.

Lesson Learned: All auto places love to F**K you over... at least this one gives you a magical, fighting chance.

SHHHH!!! Be Very Quiet...

Wow look at that! There's a giraffe in that tree. It's the very rare species of giraffe... the wild paper back mache.

Side Note: Our calls to the Redneck Association of Personal Ethics (R.A.P.E.) about the rare paper mache giraffe on the loose were not returned.

Lesson Learned: Not all animals belong in the wild... oh, and this piece of crap belongs in the trash!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Sailor Moon In 3D!

Real life cartoons! It's like Tokyo moved to LA. This might be normal in Japan, but in LA... well it works perfectly.

Side Note: Floral prints are so yesterday's fashion but on a positive note -- high socks are a great replacement for hooker boots.

Lesson Learned: If you go to Tokyo make sure to bring us back some awesome pics!

Holy Sh!t!! People Actually Eat This?!?!

Leave it to the Mexican mercado to sell the most disgusting crap on earth... a freakin' lamb's head... really?!? Green peas will never look the same.

Side Note: Caution -- Heavy dry heaving may occur while viewing this post.

Lesson Learned: Your food should never smile at you!

Mr. Kent Meet Kleenex, Kleenex Meet Crotch

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Superman's kleenex crotch.

Side Note: Now we know where Superman keeps his change of clothes.

Lesson Learned: The man of steel has junk... but not in his trunk.