Friday, June 20, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen: Tits McGee

Wow, those are some big... wait a sec... is that a man?!

Side Note: We can see the pain in that poor dog's eyes.

Lesson Learned: If you're a man dressed as a woman, make sure you have really big boobs because it takes the attention off your Adam's apple.

Sponge Bob Molester Pants!

Of course his parents are a little disappointed he's Sponge Bob... but they're even more upset he's chasing women around dressed like Sponge Bob!

Side Note: Girls watch out... we hear sponges are full of diseases.

Lesson Learned: If you're dressed like Sponge Bob you probably can't get women in the first place!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Two Flavors That Mix Perfectly

The Perfect Meal!

Lesson Learned: How else did you think you were born?!

Plastic Makes Perfect

Nothing raises the resale value of your beater like a shinny new set of cheap plastic spinners from Walmart.

Lesson Learned: Spinners don't make you a baller... they get you an invitation to the D-bag Olympics.

Man Trains For D-Bag Olympics

Last year's silver medalist in the douche toss was spotted in Hollywood. We hear he's a contender for 2008's Douche of the Year... and we can see that he is well on his way.

Side Note: 2008's D-Bag Olympics are brought to us by Summer's Eve -- Use it daily for freshness you can feel smell.

Lesson Learned: You don't need a gold medal to be a douche

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Spell Check -- What A Concept

Last time we checked, the word fancy was spelled with a C... dumbass.

Lesson Learned: Spelling FanCy "in a FanSy way" doesn't make us want to buy a couch

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Breaking News: Man's Ass Eats Bike

This post maybe a bit harsh... but so is that tight ass outfit on our eyes!

Side Note: Wearing spandex is a privilege, not a right.

Lesson Learned: Bike all you want, just not dressed like this

Confucius Say: Bad Name For Asian Dining

You can't call them that!!!  It's not nice... they're called Asians.

Side Note: It could really help to run the name of your restaurant by a fluent English speaker first.

Resson Rearned: Engrish can be a bitch

Where Can We Get Mary, Leche & Watermelons?

The Latino Market of course!

Side Note: You can also pick up a 24 oz. can of Miller and a brand new wifebeater

Lesson Learned: The mercado really does have everything you need... and more.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Lighthouses... Suck one

Watching your daughter suck on one of these candies maybe a bit hard for a father to swallow... even if they are soft.

Side Note: They're much smaller then we'd imagined.

Lesson Learned: Never accept candy from this guy... ever

When Alter Boys Aren't An Option...

She's going to be begging the "Father" for forgiveness on those knees for quite a while after this stunt.

Side Note: We've never been so happy to not be Catholic.

Lesson Learned: Nuns need action too

#1 Reason Mexicans Shouldn't Drive

We're guessing if this dude's parents were actually in America they would be very unimpressed with his driving skills.

Side Note: He jumped out and ran from the scene after it hit and left the truck sitting there, not even joking.

Lesson Learned: California needs to start making signs in Spanish

Who Hired This Engineer?

This genius' parents weren't nearly as disappointed in their son's stairway to nowhere as the first person was to use his pedestrian deathpass.

Lesson Learned: Don't let him build elevators