WE'RE DISAPPOINTED IN OURSELVES

We're so so sorry that we have been gone for so long... but we did it all for you!

After searching 6 continents, 24 countries, 200 cities, 17 strip clubs & countless bathrooms we finally found him!  The Elusive Titman is no longer elusive...

Gotcha Bitch! Your Tits Are Ours!!!

I don't know why we searched the world... cause we found him in the same palce we saw him last time!

Side Note:  Our Bad.

Lesson Learned: If you can't find something, check the last place you saw it.

So A Dog Drives Into A Coffee Shop...

This is a great Joke... This guy leaves his dog in his car, while its running, and walks into this coffee shop.  While he's in there his dog puts the car in drive and drives the car into the coffee shop!

Side Note: Wait... What?  This is real... what the F...

Lesson Learned: If it sounds too stupid to be true... it's probably not!

Chit Chat With Sh!t Chat

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend or co-worker that you just couldn't stop, but you really had to take a sh!t? Us too... but thanks to the all new Sh!t Chat that's not a problem any longer!

Side Note: No more nasty interruptions in your conversations... cause you won't miss an awkward word in your now awkward conversation.  Call now for free instillation!  Sh!t Chat is also perfect for couples!

Lesson Learned: Any conversation can turn awkward just by your location!

Help Stop Zebra Sex By Being A Sponsor

Zebra Brothels are a huge problem this country is facing and we as a community need to do something about it. We happened upon a brothel the other day and what we saw was very disheartening. One by one the zebras would exit the house after being ravished by satisfied customers and were were forced to cross the street in humiliating fashion. How sad.

Side Note: Zebra prostitution has risen by 20% over the last 5 years with over half the nation's zoos being forced to close.

Lesson Learned: For less then one dollar a day you can help get one of these poor animals off the streets and into a safe home. Please help and do your part to end bestiality.

One Hairy Asian

That is some impressive hair! It's a combination of "the beehive" and "the mullet"... it's not easy to pull this one off, but with enough time, effort and Elmer's Glue you can do anything.

Side Note: Is it possible that she's hiding endangered animals in her hairspray cocoon?

Lesson Learned: Paul Mitchell is crying somewhere right now

Who Says Chivalry Is Dead?

What you don't hear is the wife saying... "Honey, I really have to poop!" He replies, "Not now baby, not now!"

Side Note: She pooped safely at home... thanks to her husband.

Lesson Learned: A kind hand from a loved one really does help when sh!t happens.

Ahhhh...

Well... uh...

Lesson Learned: Momma always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

You've Got Some Big Balls!!!

Mommy... why are a hairy pair of nuts looking at me?!

Side Note: We hope it's not a hot day... sweaty balls are the worst!

Lesson Learned: Daddy said, "Don't let your balls hang out at the train station, unless they are smiling... then of course, it's okay."

WARNING: You Have Been Warned!

Well you can park here as long as you don't mind us stealing your sh!t... whether by accident or for any other reasons.

Lesson Learned: Don't park in a place like this!

Manliest Man in Town

Does this dog make me look gay?

Side Note: No your spandex tank top does... all it's missing are some rhinestones.

Lesson Learned: If you're walking a dog this size make sure your girlfriend is with you.

Have You Seen Our Balls Bounce?

Probably not... cause we're not allowed to bounce 'em.

Lesson Learned: If everyone listened to what signs say, no one would have any fun... especially with balls!

This Rover Misses The Range!

You know when you do something really stupid... and you want to do it over again... this is one of those times.

Lesson Learned: Accidents happen for a reason... especially when you drive like a moron!

Another Stupid Slogan...

Oldest Beer In Town... you sure you want to say that? That's like saying, "Most curdled milk in town" or maybe "ugliest hooker on the block"... it's just not pleasing in any way.

Side Note: That's just something people don't want to buy... dumb asses.

Lesson Learned: Beer is supposed to be fresh... it's wine that should be old!

Elusive Titman Evades Us Again!!!

WTF!!! How do you get a clean shot of this guy?!

Side Note: He's the Elusive Titman for two reasons! He's elusive... and he's a man with tits! No matter what we do, we can't seem to get a damn shot of him!

Lesson Learned: Game on Titman... GAME ON! We will get a clean shot of you soon... we promise you that!!!

If It Were A Corona World

Imagine a perfect day on a beautiful beach... now, picture that same beach with a greasy nasty male nudist walking by! Not so great any more... is it?

Side Note: If life was a Corona commercial everything would be perfection...

Lesson Learned: If life was a Corona commercial everyone would be drunk, nothing would get done and everyone would smell! So really, you'd be French!

Pizza, Pizza... Really?!

We're sure your parents are very proud that you work on the corner as a food mascot... maybe they even get free pizza!

Side Note: That pizza boy is nothing but schnoz!

Lesson Learned: Your parents might be less disappointed if you worked on the same corner turning tricks... at least you'd get paid more!

Let's Play Find The Wheelchair...

This ghetto ass A-Team van on stilts shows us why handicapped people don't need their own parking spaces... if they can get out of that beast, than they can walk just as far as we do!  Or maybe this douche isn't handicapped at all... maybe he's just a dick!

Side Note: This damn thing is taller then the sign it's illegally parked in front of!  And what's with the hunting lights... you drive in the city!  Unless, they hunt people.  The A-Team has gone terribly wrong!

Lesson Learned: Leave the monster trucks to crushing cars and not for taking up handicap spots!

Mama Always Said: "WTF Are You Doing?"

BMW's newest attempt at going green has gone way too far this time. With the purchase of every new beamer, you get a free Mexican that hangs out your window and purifies the air with the new "Palm Tree Air-freshener".

Side Note: We are betting that this is illegal... no, not the leaning out the window part... but the Mexican here in America part.

Lesson Learned: If you can afford a BMW, have them deliver the damn tree... if not, buying a truck with a mural on it will do just fine!

Don't Touch The Sink!

NOTICE: Don't sh!t in the sink!

Lesson Learned: This may be the one time you don't want to wash your hands!

Land Pirate... RRRRrrrrr

Rrr... This here land pirate be the meanest around.  After givin' us thee stink eye we be leavin'.

Side Note: That's no pirate's hat... no, it be his land pirate afro!

Lesson Learned: You best be steerin' clear of this pirate... rrrRRRRrrr!

A Man's Love For His Truck

Nothing could be better than a vacation... unless it's your truck on vacation!  Doesn't that little truck look great on the beach with the blue water and the sweet sand!

Side Note: You know this guys going to hang the tailgate in his house when that truck craps out right...

Lesson Learned: Don't punish your truck... take a mental picture and keep it to yourself.