Barbie's Broken...

They don't make Malibu Barbie like they use to...

Side Note: It's hard to jump start a plastic jeep without an engine.

Lesson Learned:  I guess that Bitch doesn't have everything...

One Very Disappointed Jewish Mother...

We are all for celebrating holidays... but the jews always seemed to have so much more class then this.

Side Note: This dude has a lot of khutspe driving around LA like this.

Lesson Learned:  This guy can drive for 8 days before his oil runs out.  Now thats some good mpg!

Poor Poor Paul Bunyan

Ever since Paul lost Babe the big blue ox, he just hasn't been the same...

Side Note:  Mr. Bunyan really let himself go...

Lesson Learned: Paul B's not the King of the Lumberjacks any more...

now, he's just the King of sad.

Man Survives Tie-Dye Factory Explosion

Before you ask... here are the answers: 

Side Note: No, we don't know where to get an outfit like this... No, we don't recommend dressing like this in public.... and Yes, this man is visible from space.

Lesson Learned: Crocks should be ban from existence, especially orange ones

Stop Light... meet the morons!

Have you even been so mad at a light that you wanted to drive right into it... no... Okay, have you even been so stupid that you drove into a stop light in the middle of the day?  well these two Douches did...

Side Note: Not only did they hit a stop light, but they're parked in a red zone...

Lesson Learned: If you hit city property and drive off make sure you don't have your company's shirt with a phone number on the back... a couple disappointed people might call... So Good!

Quite The Imagination You've Got There!

And we thought believing in unicorns was stupid... but to paint one on your car!

Side Note: ...Is that a gun?!  wow... what a psycho!

Lesson Learned: This Bitch Is Crazy!

Sour-Toe Bread

Wow... it looks like this guy stole our hobby, making nasty ass feet with delicious bread.

Side Note: Really... who's going to eat that now?!?... probably some sick f*** who has a damn foot fetish... SICK!

Lesson Learned: This is why there are starving children in Africa! Good work foot bread maker... good work!

Dis Guy Got Da Boot...

F is for F**king failure!

Side Note: We didn't think they still did that to cars... good to know!  Mental note... pay your tickets and move your car!

Lesson Learned:  Well... You can't win'em all!

Is That A Turtle On Your Head?!?!

Hair like this hasn't been in style since 18th century...

Side Note: When waking up... remove the curlers before leaving home.

Lesson Learned: Hair styles that look like animals should be put down... and we mean like rabid dogs.

Be Safe... Use A Ninja!

What do you get when you combine the Japanese, the Brits and the Americans... the best damn security team in the world... that's what!

Lesson Learned: You're not safe until you're Ninja Safe!

The Only Thing Missing Is A Noose

The self help section has been moved to the "Perfect Knot" section...

Lesson Learned: Slip knots suck... you just fall down!

WE'RE DISAPPOINTED IN OURSELVES

We're so so sorry that we have been gone for so long... but we did it all for you!

After searching 6 continents, 24 countries, 200 cities, 17 strip clubs & countless bathrooms we finally found him!  The Elusive Titman is no longer elusive...

Gotcha Bitch! Your Tits Are Ours!!!

I don't know why we searched the world... cause we found him in the same palce we saw him last time!

Side Note:  Our Bad.

Lesson Learned: If you can't find something, check the last place you saw it.

So A Dog Drives Into A Coffee Shop...

This is a great Joke... This guy leaves his dog in his car, while its running, and walks into this coffee shop.  While he's in there his dog puts the car in drive and drives the car into the coffee shop!

Side Note: Wait... What?  This is real... what the F...

Lesson Learned: If it sounds too stupid to be true... it's probably not!

Chit Chat With Sh!t Chat

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend or co-worker that you just couldn't stop, but you really had to take a sh!t? Us too... but thanks to the all new Sh!t Chat that's not a problem any longer!

Side Note: No more nasty interruptions in your conversations... cause you won't miss an awkward word in your now awkward conversation.  Call now for free instillation!  Sh!t Chat is also perfect for couples!

Lesson Learned: Any conversation can turn awkward just by your location!

Help Stop Zebra Sex By Being A Sponsor

Zebra Brothels are a huge problem this country is facing and we as a community need to do something about it. We happened upon a brothel the other day and what we saw was very disheartening. One by one the zebras would exit the house after being ravished by satisfied customers and were were forced to cross the street in humiliating fashion. How sad.

Side Note: Zebra prostitution has risen by 20% over the last 5 years with over half the nation's zoos being forced to close.

Lesson Learned: For less then one dollar a day you can help get one of these poor animals off the streets and into a safe home. Please help and do your part to end bestiality.

One Hairy Asian

That is some impressive hair! It's a combination of "the beehive" and "the mullet"... it's not easy to pull this one off, but with enough time, effort and Elmer's Glue you can do anything.

Side Note: Is it possible that she's hiding endangered animals in her hairspray cocoon?

Lesson Learned: Paul Mitchell is crying somewhere right now

Who Says Chivalry Is Dead?

What you don't hear is the wife saying... "Honey, I really have to poop!" He replies, "Not now baby, not now!"

Side Note: She pooped safely at home... thanks to her husband.

Lesson Learned: A kind hand from a loved one really does help when sh!t happens.

Ahhhh...

Well... uh...

Lesson Learned: Momma always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

You've Got Some Big Balls!!!

Mommy... why are a hairy pair of nuts looking at me?!

Side Note: We hope it's not a hot day... sweaty balls are the worst!

Lesson Learned: Daddy said, "Don't let your balls hang out at the train station, unless they are smiling... then of course, it's okay."

WARNING: You Have Been Warned!

Well you can park here as long as you don't mind us stealing your sh!t... whether by accident or for any other reasons.

Lesson Learned: Don't park in a place like this!

Manliest Man in Town

Does this dog make me look gay?

Side Note: No your spandex tank top does... all it's missing are some rhinestones.

Lesson Learned: If you're walking a dog this size make sure your girlfriend is with you.